10: Rad (and it was, in the worst way)

Rad – 1986
Starring: Lori Laughlin and Talia Shire
Written by: Sam Bernard and Geoffery Edwards
Directed by: Hal Needham

The plot: The story of Cru Jones, a young man who can overcome all obstacles that prevent him from participating in the BMX race “Helltrack.” As he works towards his dream, Cru falls in love with Christian, an amateur racer. With the help of Christian and her friends, can Cru’s “Rad Racing Team” defeat the top BMX factory rider, Bart Taylor? – Josh Petras at IMDB

My thoughts: A movie about a kid named Cru who BMX’s and Aunt Becky is involved? The height of perfection as far as I’m concerned. Where to begin with this one? There’s the super hip language, the fact that the track is called “Helltrack”, or maybe Lori Laughlin’s stunt double. Maybe I’ll just go with it, stream of consciousness style.

Favorite quote of the movie? Well, it comes from Cru’s cool little sister who said “shit” a lot. Some dumb girl came up to her and asked if she was waiting to get picked up to which she said “No, you blimp, I’m meditating.” Not only did I laugh during the movie, I learned something: true love comes from ass-sliding. And in case you’re wondering about ass-sliding, you’re just going to have to see the bond it creates between two people. And some other good news, Rad is available in its entirety on YouTube, so there’s no reason not to see it.

What else made Rad so great? Well, there’s all the John Farnham for one. And I’ve got to give them props for having a Sparks song thrown in there, too. And then there’s the dance scene. There are three reasons it’s so good, one being that there are two twins who look like Michael Ian Black and they’re dancing is so on the spot and hip, two being that there is BMX bike “dancing”. Pay close attention to “Lori Laughlin” in the scene. She becomes distinctly masculine and mulleted. And the third reason being that it’s all set to Real Life’s “Send Me An Angel.” As Polly from Teen Witch would say, “Top that!”

Stars: 1/5 (which really means 5/5 because it’s so awful it’s RAD!)

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