64: New Year’s Eve (yes, I did.)

New Year’s Eve – December 9, 2011
Starring: Everyone. I can’t be bothered to write out everyone in this movie.
Written by: Katherine Fugate
Directed by: Garry Marshall

The plot: “The lives of several couples and singles in New York intertwine over the course of New Year’s Eve.” – IMDB

My thoughts: Why did I watch this? I don’t know. I think I just have to see some movies so that I can say whether they were really as bad or as good as everyone else said. You know, in the case that everyone is wrong!

It’s not that NYE was bad it’s just that it was super, insanely bland and painfully predictable. There isn’t much of a plot – just a bunch of couples or inevitable couples or relationships or whatever and we see their little “vignettes” (I think that’s too nice a word to be applied to this movie) for an hour-and-a-half (which you won’t get back.)

There are pregnant ladies and overbearing moms and know-it-all teenagers and rock stars and all kinds of bullshit and despite the opportunity to have a huge range of stories their all really…blah.

And worse yet? Not a single “alternative” lifestyle was shown. No gay couples and no interracial couples. Just vanilla, middle-upper class people falling in love and doing unbearably “cute” things.

Okay, sorry. Ludacris and Halle Berry were in the movie for about a millisecond. It was cancelled out by the blandness that is Katherine Heigl and Lea Michelle. And let’s be real, in the poster they look pretty fair skinned.

I don’t even want to spend analyzing any sexism/classism/whateverism that was in the movie because it just isn’t worth the effort. Bottom line: it was utnoriginal and boring and bland. I can only give it a point because some people in the cast made for nice eye candy. It didn’t make me want to jump off a cliff or anything, it just made me want to multi-task and never recommend this to anyone unless they don’t mind losing about 2 hours.

Stars: 1/5

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