79: The Human Centipede (No, for real.)

The Human Centipede (The First Sequence) – October 18, 2009
Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie
Written and directed by: Tom Six

The plot: “A mad scientist kidnaps and mutilates a trio of tourists in order to reassemble them into a new “pet”– a human centipede, created by stitching their mouths to each others’ rectums.” – IMDB

My thoughts: What can I say about The Human Centipede that hasn’t already been said?

Disgusting? Check.
Hilarious? Check.
Ridiculous? Check.
Strange? Check.
Bad acting? Check.

I was quick to tell people I would be watching and then had watched THC to which people said, “Hughggggggeueuggh” or “Oh, how was it?” with a knowing smile on their face (even if they hadn’t seen the movie themselves.) And the fact is, it was Human Centipede. But to be honest, the concept of the movie is even more disgusting than the movie itself. Once you get over the shock of seeing three people mouth-to-ass, it starts to become a movie that brings about many questions.

– How weird/uncomfortable must this film shoot have been? For some of those shots, they really had to have their mouth on someone’s ass (albeit covered, I’m sure.)
– How long did it take for someone to finally find the victims?
– Is this movie about patriarchy/misogyny or am I giving Tom Six way too much credit?
– That Japanese gentleman’s monologue at the end (this isn’t a question but it is a lingering thought.)
– That picture of the dogipede could not have been ‘shopped any worse.

Even though I’m quite the chatty Cathy (or perhaps in this case a loquacious Laura), I’m going to let Roger Ebert speak about this movie:

“I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don’t shine.”

I feel the same way and think I will leave this movie un-starred. The movie is The Human Centipede and that’s all you need to know. It might be fun to see it while completely shitfaced (eh, eh? See what I did there?)


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