Welcome to the Punch (2013)


James McAvoy wielding guns and yelling? Yes, please. Sign me up. I’ll have what she’s having. Is anyone else feeling faint?

This is all incredibly biased because James is in my Top 10 of nearly anything ever. He’s one of my dream men. I could watch him doing anything. Accidentally sending letters with vulgar language, as a half-goat man, in a wheelchair, anything. Absolutely anything. Already I want to give this movie 5 stars solely for starring him.

But, y’know, realistically it wasn’t the worst and it wasn’t the best. It had some fun gun fights (though some of these gun-wielding men had some questionable aim), no obligatory “sex-scene-in-an-action-movie-to-make-the-main-character-deeper”, and a couple of twists that were actually a little twisty. Nice.

My biggest complaint is the opening scene. James is on the hunt for Mark Strong, notorious baddie in almost everything, and his motley crue of motorcycle-riding thieves. So, they’re driving around what I guess is maybe somewhere in London? Either way, it’s a metropolitan area. And there are zero cars. None. Not one parked on the street, not one driving around. Sure, it’s the middle of the night, but cities don’t shut down because it’s 2 AM. People are out committing dirty deeds and out for late night ice cream treats.

You want me to believe that these streets are DESOLATE right now? Please, what do you take me for? A total sucker?

Stylistically, it was pretty fucking cool. Clothes were awesome (sorry, I’ll never say no to James in tight jeans and a nice leather jacket), it all had a very blue tone (which kind of worked for it), and it was sleek.

The movie was all right. It was a cat-and-mouse almost-caper where you weren’t quite sure whether you were supposed to be rooting for the protagonist or antagonist (really, you’re supposed to like both I think, but you know what I mean). For the most part, it is predictable. It’s obvious who most of the traitors are – and you know from the first few minutes that there will be traitors – but a few might catch you by surprise.

Honestly, I just wanted to see this movie so that I could witness James wielding guns.

Oy, mate. Look how fit you are!

*** stars (points for hot, points for style, points for lots of guns. Not really any points for plot.)

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