Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

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You’d better fucking believe I spent my hard-earned money seeing this gem in a (massive) theater. It was everything I hoped it would be. This is not to say that the movie was good, it just…was.

In the latest installment of the FF movies, we’ve got The Team back together and they are suuuuper ready to ride or die (I should know. They only said it a dozen times throughout the movie.) An evil, thieving crew is stealing parts to make some kind of bomb that will shut down an entire city for 24 hours.

Dom Toretto doesn’t give a shit.

But wait. Letty, Dom’s presumed-dead girlfriend, is alive and a part of the evil, thieving crew. Although, she has lost apparently all memories aside from how to build cars, drive cars in a serious way, fire weapons, all of that.

Dom Toretto gives a shit and he will be there and so will his team.

I love imagining this movie getting workshopped. A bunch of guys sitting around saying, “Okay, so then these guys launch these little devices onto the other cars that takes over the steering…” “Yeah! And then Shaw takes an exit and is driving a level below The Rock…” “Yes! And then The Rock climbs out of his moving car and jumps across the highway rail…” “AND LANDS ON SHAW IN HIS CAR!” And then they all high-five and bump chests and it is pure magic.

My brother and I chatted about the budget of these movies and how, yeah it definitely lends itself to some nicer cinematography and more outrageous action scenes, it kind of takes away from the, dare I say, gritty aspects that the first two movies had. It was meant to be comic and over-the-top in a nearly cheesy way. But the last three FF movies have really started taking themselves seriously.

I kind of like that – we get some actual plot which is nice and the movies are a lot prettier. But at the same time, it’s verging into a territory that wants me to take the movie seriously but still maintain the over-the-top quality. Which, I’m sorry, in the sixth movie a car bursts out of the front of a plane. C’mon son! I wouldn’t believe that for a second.

I can’t wait for this movie to pop up online so I can create a collection of the most ridiculous quotes. And believe me, there was an abundance.

Now, prepare yourself for a little spoiler. If you know me, you know that I nearly peed my pants over this little scene.

Don’t rush out  of the theater the second the movie is over. About 30 seconds into the credits, it cuts to Tokyo where the (very delicious) Han is racing in the city. This is meant to be the same scene from (the despicable outlier) FF3: Tokyo Drift, where Han (presumably) dies.

So, a silver vehicle crashes into Han’s ride and who should step out? JASON MOTHERFUCKING STATHAM.

And he picks up his phone and places a call and says, “Dominic Toretto. You don’t know me yet, but you will.”

BOOM! Cut to Fast & Furious 7 and my brain/ovaries exploding!

Back to FF 6. As always, it delivered with car chases, me laughing in my seat, defying laws of physics, excellent one-liners, weapons, and being really serious about either riding or dying.

**** stars

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